A true friend will stab you in the front? Yes.
The first time my mentor shared this with me years ago I paused. True indeed it was clever, however it wasn't a thought/proverb that he created although he made me think so initially. So often growing up, we were stabbed in the back by people we put our trust in. These people, in our minds, were our true friends until we discovered several blunt objects protruding from our backs. Sometimes we actually felt the knife go in, other times people had to let us know that they were there. No matter the case, it's potentially a deal breaker. It's the kind of harsh reality we must face in our lives more than we care to.
It doesn't limit itself to our childhood. We will remove knives from our backs continuously but it is up to us to decide whether we will leave the knives there and press on or remove the stab throwers from our circle of trust having learned from those stab wounds. If we must remove knives allow them to ones that we can see coming. It's much easier in my humble opinion to remove knives when we have been stabbed in the front. When this occurs at least we know the who, when, why and how. Although the knives still hurt, the act of the stabbing in and of itself has no malicious intent, but the intent must be intepreted correctly by the target. When someone stabs you in the back, it's betrayal, but someone stabs you in the front, it's deference.
To be shown deference can be an ego/confidence killer depending on how or when it is shown, and why or by whom it is shown. Deference done in a sincere manner can build character and allow for a moment of clarity. Initially it may hurt and make us furious and confused yet it is intended to makes us more analytical, cautious and ultimately more appreciative of those who hold the knives. As a result we know where we stand with those whose opinion we value and trust. Thus, when someone shows you deference, take into consideration the nature of your relationship, see the intent, critically analyze, make the necessary adjusments and proceed with no regrets. There is a blessin in every lesson thus give thanks to those people and the role that they play in your life, growth and development. As we learn from friends and family allow their deference toward us allow to the make the difference in our lives and others.
DEFERENCE = DIFFERENCE
1 comment:
This comment comes late but this is a great message about discernment! Discernment is a skill we all need to acquire. Learning to differentiate the malicious stabbing from those that are meant to create positive change is never underrated.
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